It really fucking sucks that I did not get into college. I try my best not to talk about it with others because simply I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I know that I did not put everything I had into my studies, hell i didnt put my everything in anything I did so maybe this is a sign that I’m not ready, I just dont want to believe that. I know everybody says community college is still a good thing but I feel that Im gonna get my self stuck in a rut and wont be able to get out of it. Ive heard the stories of people never getting out of community college and never being able to transfer and thats what scares the shit out of me. Everyday I try to tell myself that its okay that I didnt get into a four year but it kills me everytime I see someone talking about their college and I’m just there with damaged dreams. I cant even look at my mom without feeling guilty that I did not get in. Everyday I put up a happy face and I try to be myself and act like Im not sad but everyday Im just a cracked soul with a lost future. Im pretty sure my friends, who’ve ive talked to about it, are pretty tired of me whining and being a bitch but I know this is my fault and I will do my best come the Fall. it just bothers me and I cant get it out my head. This sort of depression and shame, its not gonna leave for a long while. It wont go away until I vindicate myself for the wrongs I’ve done to get to this point.
Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.
A bomb factory.
who the fuck thought up the plot for this episode
accurate representation of the last 4 years of my academic life